Why you should get a single speed mountain bike

Original draft November 2012. This was supposed to be my 2012 entry for this blog as I thought it'd be funny to do only one post per year for some reason, but then I forgot to continue the tradition and missed out on 2 years. How sad. So here it is with some revisions.

My 2013 Salsa El Mariachi as a rigid single speed bike.

Single speed mountain biking? Are you mad? Well you have to be at some level. Most people tend to think that you're mental (or a dumbass) if you decide to go run a single speed bike as you're just making it harder for yourself, and in a way they're right, but you should go try it anyway. Why? Well...

YOU'RE AN 'ARD BOY
You want to show all those sissies running gears that you're tougher, stronger, and better than them so you willingly put yourself at a disadvantage and show them how you're superior by beating them on climbs and generally just lasting longer, or as long as them. Soon enough their wives will be wishing they married you instead.

Noooope. Unless you are one of the few biking gods who has mastered both his body and his bike, you won't be creaming any geared riders any time soon, and by riders I mean people at the same level of fitness as you. Sure you can smoke riders who aren't as fit as you, big whoop. That's like being proud of beating a  5 year old in a fight to the death.

Truth is, you're just putting yourself at an unreasonable disadvantage on flats and downhills, and you're not actually harder. You will do better at climbs though because you don't think of anything else but pedaling. This is one of the reasons I converted my old geared bike to SS. I noticed that on uphills I wasn't really having any fun as I'm a dumbass who doesn't know how to shift so on this one particularly steep area I spent more time switching gears than just pedaling. That totally killed the fun for me as it had become a game of finding the perfect gear.

After switching, things became easy (probably in my head) as I just had to focus on pedaling. So in a way, it kinda makes climbs easier. Which makes you (well, me) a wussy in reality.

IT MAKES YOU STRONGER
Having a single gear that takes you everywhere means you're training every time you are on your bike. If you want to go faster, get a single speed bike to train. 

Not really. I mean, yeah you do get stronger but you'd get much better gains riding a geared bike. On a geared bike you can make a moderately steep hill difficult to get up by switching to a harder gear. To do that on a single speed bike you need to go find an actual steep hill to climb up, and down, and up, and down, and up, and down, and up, and down again. Anything you can do on a single speed bike, you can do on a geared bike much better and more efficiently.

YOU THINK IT'S FUN (so yeah I had to delete the 2 other entries because I realized they were pretty lame after 3 years of Singles Speeding so jumping to the end huzzah)
You enjoy pain, you think getting your ass kicked is great, pushing your bike up a very steep hill is one of your favorite past times, you like the simplicity of it all, this is not a proper sentence.

Yep. This is literally the only reason you should get a single speed bike. Entry title is misleading by the way, I only did that to appear contentious for drama. Even if no one actually reads this blog. I did say I had mental issues right?

Don't get a single speed bike unless it's what tickles your fancy. Try it out for a couple of weeks. If you think it's fun, go get a single speed bike. Don't be all pretentious or elitist about it. The reason you go SS is because you just don't give a shit, you just want to have fun.

SS bikes are simple, elegant, and fun. There's the feeling of being a kid again on  your first ever bike on a ride with your friends. Granted you'll be getting off and pushing on rides that just keep going uphill but hey that's part of the fun right?

That said I'm totally a pussy who switched the El Mar to a 1x10. I wanted to see how it'd go up in the mountains since my 1x10 experience has been limited to my road bike, and I plan on getting a Heckler early next year and switching it to 1x10. I will switch back to SS once I get the Heckler and maybe do 36/16 since I've grown out of 32/18.

PUSSAAAAAAY~!

I am a dirty filthy liar. Oh also kittens. Or the lack thereof.

So I said I was gonna go do Django, but turns out I lied. Was busy writing up some classes for a certain payment gateway which doesn't readily have stuff I could reuse, and I had to go through like a 400 page document. Got a bit annoyed so decided to go do work on an internal project in my free time. Did I use Django? Noooooooope. You should already know this based on the topic title.

I am still using python for the desktop app though, but the management system and web service, I decided, on a whim, to go with Node.js, which I don't know squat about. Things I also didn't know squat about 6 hours ago that I now know squat about include the Express framework, MongoDB, and the Jade template engine.

I'm a newb so don't mind the code.

I like how it's pretty quick to get up and running, as well as the number of available modules for things you can't be arsed to do. Not too sure yet how it'd fare for bigger projects (will need to do some research), but for small-medium stuff, I think this might take the place of PHP(ugh) for me. Like a great man once said,

"php is essentially a string concatenation technology and is fantastic at what is does. object orientation is a completely different paradigm that pretty much would requires that we delete your last 2 years experience. truly awful code is produced when the 2 methods are combined"

Pardon the typos. And that may not exactly be entirely accurate. But you get what he's going for.

Overall I'd say it was a pretty fun and productive night.

Also quite a depressing day because now we are down to one kitten from three. A little backstory is that a couple of weeks back (3-4), me and fatboy Richy spent like an hour looking for some kittens in the drainage system outside the office because the incessant meows emanating from said drainage system at 2 in the morning was getting in the way of my conscience.

So we ended up with 3 kittens, like a 4-6 weeks old by my guess. Sort of like the office mascots or something, certainly a good stress reliever for the guys at work. Went and got them dewormed, and was planning to get them shots then spaying/neutering but then one of them died. Pus in the stomach due to organ failure in the liver/kidney according to the vet. So that was sad, and that was only like 2 weeks ago.

Fast forward to yesterday morning when fatboy Richy wakes me up at 4.45 in the morning, tears streaming down his fatboy Richy face about how one of the kittens was missing. Turns out it was my favorite one. Upon further investigation, it turns out that the shuttle service dude of the other office upstairs ran over the kitten. You could see traces of fur, blood, and innards from the parking area to the gate, so like, fuck that guy.

So now it's just Beyonce left. Fatboy Richy renamed the last kitten to Beyonce because he's a survivor. But for how long? Guess I'll see if I can fence off the little fellow somewhere, at least on nights.

Kittehs tearing up mah bike

Well here's to you kittehs. Seriously been in a down mood since I found out yesterday. And I don't even like cats. Mainly because I had to live in my aunt's house for like a year and she's a crazy cat lady with like 15-20 cats living up on the rafters of the room I was staying in, who didn't get spayed or neutered. So like mating season was just fucking annoying, but not as annoying as when they decide to just poop or pee up there and piss is dripping down the walls, but even that's not as annoying as when they decide to go die up there and my aunt refuses to take out the ceiling because it's the ancestral home blah blah blah so it just ends up smelling of dead cat for like a month or two. Oh and the flies and maggots were always fun to boot.

Hope you live long enough to become that which I'm not too fond of Beyonce.

Tell me Django Django Django

No, it's not Go or Rust. I'll get to learning one of those one of these days, but for now I've opted to pick up Python again and go with Django.

I had played around with Python back when I was still in Computer Engineering and doing mainly desktop apps prior to moving over to web stuff when I shifted to IT, so all in all it's fresh enough to help with the PHP burn out (oh yeah, get burned out with programming and then go learn another language, well framework, this will end well). Currently reviewing Python and it feels great to be back on the saddle so to speak.

Never really thought I'd be doing web development when I was still in Engineering, then again didn't really think I'd flunk out of Engineering when I started. 3 years gone to waste, but then again the curriculum was utter shit. 3 years of barely any computer related courses, seriously felt like whoever came up with the curriculum did not understand Computer Engineering and so half assed it. Those years were probably my first brush with depression. Stayed home most days and only showed up for programming subjects or history subjects (I'm a history fag keep up man), and I got pretty good grades for those subjects I did show up to. Still wasted a scholarship and all that. One of my greatest regrets in life, and I guess I've associated Python with those days so I haven't touched it in nearly 8 years.

Ah well, life is life and (re)learning something new is pretty fun. Maybe I'll go pick up Rails again (which I also started back in Engineering) once I'm at a point where I'm satisfied with Django.

Quarter year resolution: Go back to being a Simon Quinlank, King of All Hobbies.

Had to head home from the office today because of a seriously bad headache and I literally spent almost 10 minutes trying to log into my home PC because I initially put in my work machine's password and then ended up stumped as I had momentarily forgotten my home PC password. Jebus, guess I need to cut down on office time.

So anyway, as I've pretty much dropped all my hobbies except the whole biking thing, I'll start here as reading all the drafts I've never published kinda makes me sad at all the hours I have wasted typing them up and just having them sit in limbo for well, 6-7 years at least. I suppose my rediscovering this blog is sort of a sign. A sign to pander to my mental illness and continue writing trite senseless crap if anything.

First off, I think I'll actually aim to finish this fantasy story set in a low fantasy world (high fantasy sucks, cheg on you amatwats! though spoiler alert it's a high fantasy world all along harhar I am such a genius no one has ever done that before spoiler alert it's been done to hell and back) I came up with around 2004/2005 with the first chapter being done sometime in 2007. It's essentially literary masturbation, but at least I'm not going to go get it published by some vanity publisher like P. Kirby did. That's a little inside joke from a forum that no one who is reading this has ever heard about, but I told it anyway because A) no one is reading this, and B) this whole endeavor is, as I've mentioned above, literary masturbation. Keep up man.

I am however tempted to just leave it as it is because it's an awkwardly painful read. So awkwardly painful in fact that it's actually sort of funny in its own little awkwardly painful way. I mean the first chapter starts out like this:

"Thunder roared across the streets of Kalveni, dampening out my footsteps as I rushed the sentry to slit his throat."

Such a pretentious way to start a story. At that point in time I thought it was super cool and bad ass but eh. The whole thing is pretty stupid as well. The main POV character is a guy named Arktus, but looking at my initial plan for the whole thing, I might as well rename him Mary Sue, because he is literally a Mary Sue. So goodbye Arktus, I know you've lingered in here for like 7 years in the vain hope that someday I would probably get drunk, decide "Oi this is great! My magnum opus!", and hit publish but it was all for naught. I'm going to do a complete 360 and turn you into a useless feckless wussy and the entire tale will be about you hiding in a corner and suckling your thumb while someone else does all the heavy lifting. There won't even be any descriptions of what they're doing because this is a first person point of view story so the most that will happen is something like so:

"As I suckled on my thumb I could hear the clashing of swords, the banging of shields, the slapping of asses, and other actioney stuff, but couldn't really see anything as I am a wussy and could not open my eyes. Some random guy tapped me on the shoulder and told me everything was OK when it was finished. Then we moved on the next room, and suddenly assassins came out from the crates because I dunno I guess they like crates or something and I instinctively put my thumb in my mouth and buggered off to the nearest corner."

 Oh man, this is great stuff.

Read the last sentence in a deadpan voice in your head. Or aloud if you're mentally ill and read blogs aloud in your room as that's the only way you can get off. Cut me some slack though, that was written by a 17-20 something year old me, and that guy was a cunt. If I was given one chance, ONCE CHANCE, to travel back to any point in time, I would not squander it on something like going back to 1907 Vienna to assassinate a young Hitler as that would be pretty pointless. WWII and the atrocities associated with it would still have happened even without Hitler because the Treaty of Versailles was pretty much begging Germany to plan for a future war what with how it was so fucking punitive. "But why not just warn Franz Ferdinand about the assassin? Surely that would have resulted in Hitler being a renowned artist or something", I hear you say. Well, sh-sh-shut up! Look, WWII had to happen because if it didn't, then we wouldn't have mangoes and animu. It's a stupid joke, and I've left out something that could be misconstrued as offensive, so don't get your panties in a bunch. I don't even like most mangoes and animu. Oh no now I've offended the weaboos. Is there no end to this vicious cycle of offending certain demographics unintentionally?!

Sorry went a bit off tangent there, I'm a history buff so anything having to do with the past gets me foaming in the mouth. So right, if I could travel back in time, to any point in history, I would travel back to anywhere in 2002-2007 and punch 2002-2007 me in his stupid, self righteous, pretentious, and bigoted face (I fucking hate that guy). Then maybe anally rape him or something. It's not really rape or anything if it's your past self, at most it'd just be some weird form of masturbation. No wait I would go back to the time when Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus (no not that Gaius Julius Caesar, the other Gaius Julius Caesar) was born and see the rise of the Roman Empire (best empire ever) with my own two eyes. Yeah that's what I would do.

Anyway when this is all done I can then be all smug about it and go, yeah, this thing has been a work of art  (if literary masturbation is an art, it probably is) spanning almost a decade, and that's just the first chapter! Seeing as to how I have 22 sections planned, and if the first chapter is anything to go by, I should have this all wrapped up in 154 years if my math is correct (it is correct, instead of doing it in my head like I'm supposed to, I opened up the calculator). So keep your eyes open when this thing is finally done as I will most likely prove to be a hypocrite and get this published in a vanity press, and like P. Kirby, proceed to beg everyone I know to buy it even if it's not really all that good. See you in 2168.

Secondly, I think it's time to start learning a new language. Either Rust or Go. Then I could blog about my adventures I guess because I suppose that's what all proper programmers do right? Keep a blog about their programming escapades and stuff.

I've also tried starting up my older hobbies towards the end of 2013, first with Gunpla and then with 日本語 (look at me I'm all smug that I can read that, but that really just makes others think how much of a pretentious ass I am). Problem is I'm now like 40 or something so my neck starts to hurt fairly easily if I'm scrunched over in one spot for too long. Got the Sex Marquis' (I'll spell it how it's pronounced damn it) Tallgeese MG back in December 2013. Used to be able to finish this in half a day back when I was a young lad in college. Now, the damn shield isn't even done yet. It's what 4 months? Holy hell man.

As for Japanese, I was up to like 430 kanji memorized, then I dropped it for two years when I started working at my current company (I'm a workaholic, blow me. Oh please, please blow me. I wasn't being confrontational. I'd really like one right about now.) and now I can't remember the readings. I tried going at it again but I'm like, man I already did this before I don't want to do it again.

So for Gunpla and Moonspeak, still not too sure, but that's it for now. Man this was fun. I've missed this. I've been getting my kicks shit posting on message boards the past couple of years, but shit posting on a spot all to yourself is great. I'll miss the reactions though so I guess I'll find other blogs to shitpost on or something.

I'm kidding.

Disclaimer: I'm mostly joking, so if you're offended don't be etc. Also, proofreading? WOTZ DAT?!

What's the point of making your profile private on social networking sites?

While clearing the 6k+(!!) spam in my main gmail account's inbox I ran across this old blog. I had sworn I'd do something funny and post one stupid update a year but failed even that. Ah well. Anyway this post below has been sitting in my drafts since 2008. I love going through all the shit I've written up but haven't bothered publishing just too see what feckless trite I used to write. Though admittedly, this isn't much more different than what I write these days. Or think since I barely write anymore.

I don't even know who C_monyet is, or what the original topic was about. GameFAQs LUE is pretty lame now. Everybody just grew up I suppose. It's been a good what? 12? 15? years. 

C_monyet over at GameFAQs has pointed the above out, and really I must agree. Making your profile private isn't helping the social networking community, in fact it's damaging it.

Allowing users to make their profiles available only to people that they know on a personal level is just plain stupid. Take Friendster, which Chiquito (not monyet's real name but I'm using it since I like it) stated in his topic.

All I can say about it is that for a service which caters to cyber stalkers, it's not very conducive for cyber stalking. I mean if I want to know where some girl lives, I should be able to find out with a quick look without having to go through various hoops like creating a fake online identity, posing as someone looking for online friends, and trying for years to get into her inner circle.


Ah, but I suppose the internet has spoiled me. Ever since it came to be, people have been taking it for granted. No more digging through a girl's garbage just to find out what kind of food she likes. You just go online and take a look.

No more breaking into her house and checking up on what books she likes.

No more rummaging through her underwear drawer to find out what kind of underwear she likes.

No more providing her BFF (who is probably not attractive) with various sexual favors in return for information against your would be rivals. God I miss licking her toes.

Here's my post for 2011!

So sad.

And done.

Turned out rather well, so I suppose there won't be any renaming of the previous posts' titles. Next is to get some decals on it. Or maybe I'll just leave it as is. I dunno.

Don't touch the fork for a couple of days, 2 to 5 I suppose, depending how humid your area is.